Ode to Hammo

We all have days
Of trouble and strife
Some call it a husband
Most call it a wife.

Sanctuary's what's needed
A place which has some class
Somewhere you can be yourself
And not give a fat rat's ass.

But surely this place does not exist
I hear the sceptic say
Where by day you paddle hard
By night you go to play

Take heart my sanctuary seekers
The answer's close at hand
I've seen this place we're looking for
I've seen its golden sand

It's a place far to the North
It's a place of worldly fame
Some see it as "Valhalla"
"Hammo" is its name

A place of perfect majesty
A place of foreign guests
Of magnificent sets of abs
And truly majestic breasts

The mountains soar above you
With the valleys in between
But no way can it compare
To the mountin' I have seen.

The Barefoot bar alas has gone
By a restaurant torn asunder
Intrepid paddlers will always find
A place to pillage and plunder.

Many places we have to go
But one place we love most
Run by two grumpy old bastards
Known as Australia Post.

The best kept secret in this place
Is known as the "Sportz Bar'
Too bad it's such a bloody climb
6 in a buggy don't go that far.

What happens on Hammo stays on Hammo
I hear the old catch cry
But back in civilisation
The others start to pry.

Who did what to you know who
Who had a few too many
A few drinks later everyone knows
About "Phil & Sue & Jenny".

Many a romance has been created
And many a friendship struck
But disappointment will remain
Unless you get a Huck......Ho.

The week outriggers come to town
The locals say "Oh No"
They're glad to take our money
And they're glad to see us go.

But the memories we leave behind
Of good spirit and good cheer
Leaves them with the thought in mind
We'll see you all next year.

Somewhere in this chaos
Some paddling does get done
But it all seems less important
To the importance of having fun.

So lets all get to Hammo
Before we get too old
And who knows it may just happen
That you win the bloody GOLD!!